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Reply to "Loosing my mind, what's left of it!"

Frances,

So sorry for the bad night...it is always worse at night...you are so alone in the quiet and the dark with your thoughts...Those dangerous midnight thoughts that pull you down instead of the morning, sunlight thoughts that lift you up and give you hope.

I find that marriage in general is a See-Saw....sometimes it is me who is up and sometimes it is him...Same with the down.

I felt so guilty in the begining being the sick one. He is 14yrs older than me and was so healthy compared to me. Then at 66 he started to fall apart at the seems!

Big and little things but they put a crimp in his lifestyle and mine...I am the caregiver in this family even if I am the sick one....so being weak, sick, in pain and unable to do stuff frustrates me and sends me into wild bouts of sadness & anger...hubby used to complain that I was 'doing it on purpose' (meaning falling ill during holidays, weekends etc...But what he didn't understand was that the stress would build up all week/month and when I finally had time to breath my body would fall apart)...now he is more compassionate towards me. He gets it even if he doesn't like it.

Times change and so do people and even though we do not like it we have to face it...it would just be so much easier if we were not fighting against our insurance companies at the same time...

Huge hugs and hopes for a better day today.

Sharon

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