Hi guys,
Not that I am in any way, shape or form opposed to people dating people who can empathize, sympathize or understand what is going on in our bodies but isn't it rather limiting? I have been a k poucher for 37yrs, since age 18, never dated much pre-pouch due to the disease and had a wonderful, fulfilling dating life for 20+yrs until I finally gave in and married hubby (an imperfect being for sure with his own set of problems but I love him in spite of them and for them).
Although it is nice to have someone who 'lives in your skin' and can comprehend the complexities of pouch-life, I do not think that it should be a factor (although I am very often wrong) in choosing who you love.
I had a pouch at 18, cancer at 23 and again at 28, fought it for years and survived, have lived through horrid PTSD due to this disease, had dozens of surgeries and still dated, married (twice) and had a whopping good time.
This is not a criticism but encouragement...please do not define yourselves by your disease or pouch. You are not your disease. You are not a pouch with a person surrounding it. You are 100% you, meaning that you are fantastic, survivors, incredible fighters, heros who have so much to give, offer and share...do not allow this disease and its biological imperatives to make you stop believing in yourselves and love.
I have had to fight to be heard, loved and understood, so yes, it is an uphill climb (and I now limp while climbing it!) but so worth it...love is blind and does not see stomas, does not have a nose to smell the gas or ears to hear the farts...
Please, just believe in yourselves.
Sharon