Hi Woodstock,
Firstly I feel for you with your problems, it sounds like my last temp ileo before my J Pouch in 2006. Since my reversal surgery in 2016, I have had 2 revisions of my stoma, because of the poor spouting and excoriated skin. After my last revision the surgeon said there is nothing more he can do surgically, due to the amount of scar tissue I have inside.
I have resigned myself to the stoma as it is, with a downward spouting aperture, and managing the skin as it starts to deteriorate. I do a change daily when Scott (our current Prime Minister in Australia and my name for my stoma) is least active. Luckily we have a generous PBS here that pays for most of my supplies, so I am able to change regularly.
I clean the area with a adhesive removal wipe, shower with no appliance, washing around the area with normal soap and rinse thoroughly. I then apply a skin lotion cloth on the peristomal skin, use a barrier spray immediately around the stoma and then apply a convex ring and then the convex appliance.
For 90% of the time, I am reasonably comfortable, however there are times when I have excruciating pain if the appliance is leaking or not fitted properly. I also have a small area just in the lower portion of the stoma that can be quite painful too, but if I fit the appliance just right, it is bearable.
Products I use are:
Dansac - Nova Convex Firm Opaque Pre-cut 6mm 30mm bag
Hollister - Adapt Convex Barrier Rings 30 mm
3M - Cavilon No Sting Barrier Film Spray
Coloplast - Brava No Sting Remover Wipes
Dansac - Skin Lotion Tissues
Hollister - Adapt Stoma Powder (when needed)
I hope your situation improves, and you can find a surgeon who can help with a revision. I used to have a perfect stoma that gave me no trouble, but the last revision has spoiled it for me....
Let me know if you have any more specific question.
Cheers
Richard