I am sorry for all of your trouble!
For your last question: Finally to those that had their j pouch removed, are you satisfied with your decision and how has your quality of life improved/diminished since removal.
I would strongly recommend to reach out to mysticobra. mysticobra had his J-pouch removed also and often talks about his quality of life after J-pouch removal. I would suggest sending him a private message and asking him. He will give you lots of support.
Best of luck my friend