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J pouch leakage

Hello everyone I have posted about my issues since my j pouch and few times and since my last post nothing has changed but my new question is why do I have incontinence very badly for weeks and then one day it's like my butt explodes and it all comes out and then for about 24 to 48 hours I'm poop free no leaks, BM, or incontinence and then bam right back to leaking and incontinence!! This is so stressful!! I can't do anything or go anywhere without having to take wipes, vaseline and calmoseptine ointment!! My butt hurts all the time from it being raw and bleeding..I can't sleep from having to get up and change myself..the incontinence happens all day and night..I live in the bathroom and it sucks..I can never feel myself having the leaks until it's out and starts irritating my skin..and when I do get the urge to poop I have to strain my guts out but then only a little comes out and then I feel like I haven't completely emptied..somebody please tell me it gets better or that something can be fixed!!!??? My doctor thinks my pouch may need some revision or its folding up on itself when I'm trying to empty..I dk but I hope like hell somebody can tell me something soon!! I am not going back to that damn bag!! I was a miserable soul with it..I just can't see myself going back after all the surgeries, pain and suffering I endured to get rid of it..there has to be another way!! Please help..does anyone know of another doctor anywhere that specializes in incontinence or sphincter repair or anything similar to my problems..anything will help my doctor has tried every thing he knows except going back to an ostomy and I can't give up and go there..no way!!

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