Not a pity party, just pure need to vent, cry, scream, yell and rage at the clouds.
Vent away...this is a tough journey and not one for the faint of heart...just remember, you are not trying to have a baby (that is just the start of it) but a child and that is a long term commitment...meaning, you need to be as healthy as possible before embarking on it...get the hernia fixed, get yourself in shape and then try to allow nature to take its course for a bit before putting your body and mind through all of the stress of IVF...this is supposed to be fun, joyous and full of gladness and not frustration and sadness.
Most of all, make this a time of joy with your husband, not stress...you have been through enough of that already.
Sharon