Solomon, hi sorry for your difficulties. It does sound like you may need dilation. The incontinence is probably from being full of poop. It will leak out until you can empty your pouch. I've had both balloon and Hegar Dilators used for under sedation dilation. My surgeon had me take miralax a couple of times a day to try to clear out all the build up. At the time I had to wait a couple of months before I could get my dilations. Believe me, taking the miralax gets pretty unpleasant. The purpose is to thin your output to pretty much water to get it to pass. Make sure you stay hydrated also. Hopefully this pandemic slows soon to allow for elective surgeries again.
Aimee