I second Scott’s suggestion of Metamucil. Seriously it can work wonders. post surgery it took me from 14 bm’s Per day to 6 formed ones with no urgency or leakage. Think of it like jello powder-it just soaks up and forms all the liquid to make it easier to contain and feel when it needs to pass, I had lots of the issues you are describing initially and Metamucil and eliminating dairy helped a ton. Have you met with a dietician? I would take their advice/suggestions over a nurse. Nothing against nurses who are wonderful human beings and professionals of course, it’s just not their area of expertise.