First of all, I'm sorry you are going through all this. I wish I had a magic wand and could take it all away. All I have is some advise that may or may not be useful to you.
Have you talked to your doctor about the chance you have pouchitis? Leaking is my one of the signals when I have it. If so a simple course of Cipro or Flagal should help.
That being said, here are a few things to try that have helped me with the diarrhea: Add some thickening foods like Oatmeal, rice, cheese, potatoes, bananas, etc. Add some fiber. Many here use psyllium or Benefiber. It may sound counter-intuitive, but they really work to thicken up the stool. (I used psyllium in a smoothie to avoid the taste.) Remember to go slow when adding the fiber to keep gas from being an issue. (or take Benefiber when you take the fiber supplement.)
When I struggled with leakage, I wore the long sanitary napkins. They helped keep my clothes from getting messy and had more pad to soak things up with. At night I put one of those waterproof pads under me so I didn't have to wash sheets quite as often. (And yeah, I did where Depends to bed when the leakage was really bad.)
Hope this helps some!