Oh Honey, you need a good colo-rectal surgeon NOW! You should not have to be dealing with this. There is so much more to life than enemas and worrying about pain. You sound exactly like me before my colectomy and j-pouch. I was using about a litre of bowel prep solution (drinking it) every day to keep my bowel moving. Gross I know but it was the only thing that worked. Finally my bowel quit moving all together and I had to have it taken out. Hallelujah. The best thing that ever happened to me.
I had an ileostomy for about a year and a half then had that reversed and now have had a j-pouch for about 9 years. Please please please see a good gastroenterologist and colo rectal surgeon. Advocate for yourself, you DO NOT have to live in misery. There are better options out there for you. Please get help.