Guys,
This is not a journey to prove 'how strong you can be', that you are 'wonderwoman/man' or that you deserve an Olympic medal in martyrdom...
This is the time to call in all of your markers, ask for help, get your friends, family, classmates, colleagues etc involved in your recovery process.
Keep diaries of what you eat and how you are affected by it, keep your closest friends on speed dial, (the ones that you can call and cry to at 2.am are the ones that I am talking about), start trying new purréed foods like purréed green beans mixed with mashed potatoes or carrots and squash or sweet potatoes...add a tsp of butter or olive oil and you have a very satisfying, pouch friendly meal.
Steal the baby food jars from your kid, your neighbor's kid or your grand kid...do not be shy, it may help you and it is chemical, sugar and salt-free.
Learn to cook...take control of your intake and you may be able to help to control your output...now is not the time to give in and eat junk food..you need to heal and junk just won't do it.
Do not try to run before you can walk...you will fall flat on your face...be patient with yourself...buy yourself a box of 'chucks or blue pads' and put them between your mattress pad and your sheet, your sheet and you and possibly over your mattress too...sleep on them for the 1st yr...no matter what...the one time that you will have an accident is the one time that you get lazy and don't put them on the bed! (murphy's law)
Grow a thick skin...this is a very humiliating, mentally debilitating disease...you find yourself leaking, dripping, itching, spotting, staining and generally hating life if you do not. Learn to take even the worst embarrassment with a smile, a quip or a laugh...If you don't then you will hurt more than you already do...(you can do no worse than me having my bag blow up on the head of my 2yr old grandson as he ran into the house and threw himself on me...with my stepdaughter fast on his heels...My first day up and about...I wanted to die...ran up to the bathroom, got washed, hid and cried...hubby cleaned the baby up, then came up and bodily dressed me and dragged me back down telling me that if I hid then, what the hell was I going to do when I had to go back to work in front of a group of randy teens? My skin has grown very thick since then)
Keep a change of clothes in your car and a couple of plastic bags. Include shoes & socks.
Invest in good air freshener.
'plant or seed' your basic needs at your family's houses...(I keep kits under the sink at my best friend's house...makes going over an emotional vacation)
Keep a running diary of your moods...
Cut out of your life those who do not care enough to help, understand or try to help...you do not need toxic people around you now...
Thank those who know how to sit in silence and let you cry.
Cry. A lot. Cry more. Cry again. Keep crying. You have lost a major organ as well as rerouted your plumbing and changed your life as you knew it forever. (for the good or bad...Time will tell). So mourn your loss.
Then laugh. You are alive. You are healing. You are getting well. Laugh more.
Appreciate life. Stop crying and start laughing. Shi--ing your pants means that you still have pants.
Ask for a bidet for your birthday or X-mas. (that will surprise the heck out of Santa Clause, the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny)
Thank God or whoever you believe in (your surgeon?) that you are still alive.
I do every day.
Sharon