It is definitely stressful in the beginning, I was the same way. It’s normal to be scared. Follow all of the dr and nurses instructions exactly. It’s really important in the beginning. Be patient with your body- it’s learning how to function with something completely new. Relax as much as possible before you insert the catheter and try not to tense up. I intubate while standing because that is the way I was taught in the beginning. Some people sit way back on the toilet and intubate while sitting. If you have any issues, stop, walk around the house, maybe twist your body side to side, and then try again. Before you know it, everything becomes second nature and you don’t give it a second thought. You’ll have a routine. It only takes me about 5 minutes- I’ve had a lot of practice 😀. Keep all of your supplies organized and close by. I use a liberal amount of water soluble lubricant on the catheter to ensure smooth entry of the catheter. Important note- I mentioned that I use a lot of water to irrigate, but remember I have an old pouch that is full size. You will want to do exactly as your healthcare team advises.