Kid,
You are allowed bad days (good ones too), you are allowed to be angry, pissed off, depressed, furious and ready to throw in the towel...what you are not allowed to do (in my opinion) is to give up on those who have stood by you.
Yell at the sky, cry in the shower (or out in the rain) but then, once you are dried off, go back to being you. You are still inside that body, you are not scars and bags and leaks...you are 100% yourself, with a little plumbing modification for the moment.
Things will evolve and change. Scars can be resected. Tummies can be tucked, fixed or liposucked out to flatness...
I got married in 2004 to a glow-worm...a hospital-phobic medical-phobic man...who swore that he hated sick people and would never come to visit me in the hospital...our 2nd date was in the hospital after emergency surgery.
3 months later he held my hand and walked me back to the O.R. in tears.
I spent our 1st year together being rebuilt and taken apart 6xs, our first wedding anniversary was spent with me 5000miles away on an operating table.
That's life.
He loves me and would not trade me (I hope!) for anyone else...but I come with my lot of problems..too bad...That is life.
I fix what I can, exercise, eat right and try to stay healthy but occasionally I cry because I am not like everyone else. It takes me 1000% more effort just to make it out the door or out of bed but I do it for him...Because he concurred his fears of everything just for me.
If the fistula heals then you are all set, if not, then you need to think or rethink your options...maybe move the stoma or have that little fat bump sucked out (I did and it made a huge difference in my life...I also had 4 scars resected to flatten out my tummy...I still look like a roadmap but with fewer off-ramps and hills!).
At the end of the day, what matters most are your loved ones...never, ever forget that part.
Sharon
ps...Sorry for the pep talk!