Sorry to hear of your past problems with a stoma. If it helps I'd like to point out that the appliances have improved from when I had my temp ileo 8 years ago. I had skin problems too. I tried every appliance that is available this time. One, that I really liked, was horrible and my skin went crazy after wearing for 2 days. My skin is sensitive too. There are certain cosmetics I can't wear. I know there is a difference between our abdomen and face 
About being open stem to stern. I was diverted laproscopically to a perm ileo first. The thought being that maybe my j-pouch would get better. If you get too bad and need to do something maybe you could do this. The surgery to remove the j-pouch was when they cut me stem to stern. That is a huge surgery. Simple diversion not so.
I'm sorry you are going though all of this and how it is affecting your life. It really depressed me when mine was failing. It's not your fault that your body is behaving this way. It is depressing as we have little control over it.