I’m sorry you’re going through this, Gail. You may get relief if you can work out a strategy that gets your dinner residue out of you before bed. It sounds like your transit time after dinner is much longer than after breakfast or lunch. This would make sense if your dinner were bigger than those meals, with more fat and protein (which slow the gut). I can think of two things worth trying, at least to gain some control over this. I wouldn’t try these things at the same time, even if you elect to combine them later.
1) Try moving your main meal to lunchtime, at least to see what happens. This will feel awkward, but that’s mostly a matter of habit (and partly cultural, if you can’t take a siesta). A small (or even very small) dinner with less fat might either move through by bedtime or fit in your pouch until morning (or a bit of both).
2) Give Lomotil a try at bedtime. For some of us it works better than Imodium, and you can take two if that helps more.
Good luck!