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guys can you help me find some joy please?

im 6 weeks pre takedown and i just cant muster up any joy. my family is here with me to help me cope but i want to send them home because im so dark i can barely stand being with myself much less drag them down with me. not going to do meds cause all that ive tried had me bleeding with terrible side effects. im so down i cant see me making it 6 weeks to takedown without my heart breaking from this depression...
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