Wow, what a lot for your family to deal with, my heart goes out to you. My 16 year old son just had j pouch surgery at Cincinnati Children's Hospital. I can't say enough about how great the GI/colo/rectal team is here. I would say just make sure you go to good drs., seems like a major enough decision that a second opinion would be worthwhile. My son had his colectomy in March, the j pouch surgery in June, and the take down surgery a few days ago. Your grandaughters would have ostomy bags for at least a few months. My son went to school with his, but I think the comfort level with would depend on the child. Best of luck to you!