I'm so sorry to hear you're back in the hospital. What an ordeal you've been through. I admire that you're a fighter. It might be time to consider a permanent ileostomy, if your doctor thinks that is medically appropriate. I love mine, and it resolved ALL my pouch issues. My life was a mess, and now I can live my life again. I'm myself again and I'm so thankful.
I know it's difficult. All the best to you.