It has all been rough but worth it to be here with my kiddos. I'm having a hard time remembering to drink enough fluids to stay hydrated now that I have the right ostomy bags I feel like I can be just like I was prior to surgery and then I learn the hard way when my brain isn't thinking clearly and I get shaky. I'm a little nervous about doing the take down my surgeon had me do the pouchogram last month and everything looked great but I'm a little hesitant to do another surgery just 3 months from my first one. I think emotionally I'm exhausted. Just last Friday I had to do a mammogram and bone density and I was petrified I couldn't stop crying and my body froze during both test. The poor tech had to position me how ever it was she needed me to be. I know the testing doesn't hurt but it was the idea of having another test like I did with the colonoscopy and having them find something else wrong :0(