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Reply to "Finding it hard to stay optimistic"

I'm so sorry to here you are going through so much Branchy. Please remember you are not alone. I struggle every day to get out of bed and make myself do things. I go through many e motions Anger, Fear, Cry, Poor me parties. Why me and when is enough enough?

I don't have answers. I got to therapy every 2 weeks and I truly think it has saved my life. Its my safe place to let everything out. I don't talk to people or my family about it because I am sure they are tired of herring about it or that's what I think. Four years when the bottom fell out and I had to stop working and I felt like a burden, liability and worthless. I have always worked and not working even though I hated my job I have always worked. I have come to terms with that. Its hard when your in a really dark place to see light at the end of the tunnel. But I have found like you I am no longer very social but I went out to dinner with my friend of over 20 years  last Thursday. The little things I count on now, we sat for 2 and half hours and when we left there was no one else there. I almost lost her as my friend at the time when I thought my world was over 4 years ago. My way of dealing with it was to isolate myself from everyone. Did not want to talk to anyone and she is a type A person and she kept being a pest and would not leave me alone and thank god she didn't. Because most of my friends left. Everyone grief's and deals with things differently. She did not understand my way but she stuck around.

So looking forward and also nervous about dinner gave me something to look forward to. She told me at dinner that her church that they were having there annual rummage sale on sat. I asked if I could bake some cookies for the bake sale and she said sure. I enjoyed making them and packaging them up and taking them knowing the church would make some much needed money made me feel good and I can still do things for others.

I take care of my mom and that is draining but through therapy I have really learned to deal with it better and to make boundaries with her.

Its all about baby steps find one good thing to do each day for yourself or someone else and it will make you feel better.

I cant imagine working while your going through so much. But you sound like one strong women that does not belong in a hole at all. Talk to your husband when he is home or find a good therapist its made a world of difference with me.

 I don't talk to my husband enough because I think he is tired of it but that is not what he thinks its what think. People can not read our minds glad that cant read mine lol.

 Every day is a struggle for me I don't always win but I am still here fighting.

 Be kind to yourself we are so hard on our selves.

I have a saying my friend gave me and its on my vanity and I say it out loud every day.

(Be there for others but leave yourself behind)

I care

Frances

 

 

 

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