Angie its so hard for me to believe there are so many wonderful caring people like you out there. I have never met anyone that can actually say I know how you feel except here and it means so much. Its a very lonely thing and I keep most of it inside except for my therapist that I have been seeing for about 8 months now and I love her. I call it my safe place she of course did not know much about the whole J Pouch thing like a lot of doctors. But she educated her self and I look forward to seeing her every 2 weeks.
I have been shy my whole life and its been a struggle since I was young. I have lost a lot of friends due to this but I think if they were true friends they would have stuck around. When my world changed over 4 years ago I just totally isolated myself except for my family and even my boys I did not let them know a lot, I never want them to worry.
I take care of my mom for the last 6 years since my dad passed away. She only lives a couple houses down so that really helps. My sister goes over on Sundays to give me a break. She is in very poor health and is deaf and her and my sister are my best friends. But she can be a handful. My therapist has really helped me letting my mom do more for herself. I was definitely enabling her to do make me feel that I had to do everything and now she is doing more which she does not like but has been a great help for me.
I have Hashimoto now so I suffer from being so tired all the time and the medications don't help in that area. I have gained 47 pounds in the last 4 years and I hate the way I look so that is another reason I don't like to go out either.
Being denied the medicine that helped me most for 4 years and now this new ins. with not cover it has been devastating to say the least. I went to see my therapist today and I am appealing the denial and she wrote a great letter to put with mine. But of course the one that will make the biggest difference is my specialist at the Cleveland clinic. I know what happened his medical secretary filled out the appeal form without going into detail and he just signed it. I hate dealing with her and he thinks she walks on water. Sent him a short note asking him if he could right a letter for my appeal going into detail how there is nothing else that has worked and I need to on it. God one sentence that said (hi we will compose letter and send it to via e mail and that was a week ago. Who cares that I leak 95% of my day and have bad accidents during the night and that I have painful spasms and I cant walked very far at all.
I try every day to put on my happy face take care of my mom and be there for my family but so tired of my poor quality of life and fighting for something I was on and helped.
Please forgive me for going on and on but your letter touched me with your kindness to a total stranger.
I am doing more things around the house now which helps.
Thank You
Frances