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Reply to "Finding it hard to stay optimistic"

Jan I know how you feel I love it when my husband does things for me but hate the reason he needs to do them. But understand its his way of helping. But I hate having help in my life at all. I don't talk about it now with anyone except my therapist and I love her. I don't want this to define me and my relationships with people my sister said there are times when she forgets I have stuff going on because I don't complain about it and that's fine with me.

It bothers me so much to see my husband leave in the morning and go for a 5 mile hike in our beautiful parks with the dog. He goes to yoga and teaches it once a week. I go to the one he teaches its all levels and its ok If I have to leave and come back. I thank god every day that he is so healthy and my sons are also. We have been married 32 years now and the only issues we have had in our marriage is my health. I have told my husband several times that I was so sorry that he got stuck with a unhealthy person like me. He gets very upset when I talk like that.

Got a wonderful letter from my psychologist today to my ins company telling them she sees me every 2 weeks and how I have gone down hill since due to doc. having to change my medication to valium suppositories and 8 Imodium the valium every 12 hours that by the way is 2000.00 a month and the medicine that helped the most Belladonna/Opium is 1500.00. So my ins will cover the 2000.00 but not the 1500.00. So I was denied when he or not nice at all medical secretary filled out the form for them to make an exception. Its been 4/06 since I wrote to doctor to ask him to write  them as to how much I need this other medicine. Secretary wrote back 4-07 that they will compose a letter and send it to me via e mail. Have not heard anything. So I am trying to finish up my letter to ins company and my other doctor wrote a great letter. Tomorrow I will be sending him a e mail that I have letter from my other doctor and one from me and am just waiting for his so I can send it in. So tired of all this I cant even tell you.

With this Hashimoto now I fight being so tired all the time.

With the valium I leak 95%of my day and accidents at night.

I take care of my mom full time 6 days a week and my sister takes Sundays. I have another sister about 5 hours  away that is a million air but cant help my mom at all and never has. She is a Narcissist to the bone. I have turned the cheek to many times over the years and last summer was the last straw when my mom had 3 surgeries over the summer and left me in hospital when I was really sick because it was taking to long so she could go home and take a nap. Well no details but we asked her to leave when we brought my mom home. I cant handle toxic people in my life.

I got something from my prescription company today saying now I was in the 3rd category and the next is catastrophe. I have to call them tomorrow and have them explain it to me it sounds like I am now in some kind a donut hole.

When is enough if they don't approve me after the denial with my 3 letters I really don't know what's next. My sister said that she thinks I will feel better if I can loose at the weight I have gained over the last 4 years 49 pounds I think part of that is true. but I don't have any incentives to loose it or so dam tired I just give up on that a lot.

When enough whining from this lady today.

Thanks from the bottom of my heart for listening. Its so nice to not feel like I am so alone.

Frances

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

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