To all of you ladies - thank you, thank you, thank you. To just feel understood - and to give understanding - about this specific set of issues we deal with - has been a Godsend to me. You have no idea how much it has helped - I don't wish the suffering on any of you - and I know everyone suffers eventually - but to "talk" with others about leakage, etc. - has just made me feel so much less alone - I finally had to say (in email form) to a couple friends and one family member - well, would love to come...but "don't want to be in my depends" - sort of in a joking manner - but trying to hammer home the point - if I can't come, there is a reason! I think - how many times do I have to explain this - and then , I realize - they aren't trying to make me feel bad - just to include me. Frances - to be in the caregiver mode and in such distress yourself is all too common - but so amazingly difficult - and insurance, etc. - just makes ya want to give up at times...so sorry about your weight gain - I am also sort of shy...I understand what you mean about not wanting to be seen...not sure what that's about - it's so dumb - and I tell myself that -people looking terrible out and about all the time - do I care? NO
And no one cares what I look like either -but, if you had some decent looks in your past, and you grew up w/ "putting your best foot forward" and dressing for success and all that - it's hard to sort of get over yourself - and in the end - as you age - that's what you have to do. It's a life "necessary loss" - did you ever read that Judith Viorst (I think that is her name) book called "Necessary Losses" - that book stays with me and helps me remember that we all have to face loss after loss eventually. Well I've rattled on too long - please keep seeing your therapist and so proud of you that you are trying to set some boundaries with your mother - you have to - you can't row her boat if you can't row your own....etc. etc. (easy to say, very hard to do)....Thanks to all of you wonderful ladies.
