Jan,
Did you see any mountain lions in Zion? I went hiking with my sister in Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado some years ago and a mountain lion had attacked a 12 year old kid a week earlier in that park, but the father of the kid somehow fought the mountain lion off with a switchblade knife. They told us at the Ranger station to pretend we were tall and stick our arms and hands straight up in the air because a mountain lion is intimidated by height and the taller you look, the more scared they are.
Jenjen,
It's actually a surprise to myself that I have lasted in this business for 24 years. I feel fortunate to not only have a job but to enjoy what I do and feel somewhat productive at it. If I didn't have that or couldn't do my job due to health issues, I would probably be more miserable than anyone posting here. I feel like I am helping people and I draw satisfaction out of it, especially the solving of problems that seem unsolvable. A few months ago, in a case that I was certain was headed for trial, I came up with a creative way to settle the case that in the final analysis made everyone happy, most importantly my client, who was very nervous about the possibility of a trial. When stuff like that happens, you feel a level of professional satisfaction that is rewarding.
I am just fortunate that I have been able to treat my issues- the cancer was caught early, apparently, and the IBD has over 43 years responded to various treatments we have thrown at it. I have been consistently lucky with my doctors and treatment and can offer no explanation for it. I have a friend who is very spiritual and she tells me "it's all for a reason." I am not sure if it is that or pure unfettered good luck, but whatever the case it has enabled me to get through it. In my own eyes my problems are minor compared to what I have read of others on this board, although if you looked at my scope pics from various times in the past few years, you would figure I am in much worse shape than I actually am. I also wonder if after 43 years my body has not somehow adapted to the diseases I have had that enables me to function. The biggest physical issue I have at the moment is the pinched nerve in my neck, which is annoying, but it's not like it's ruining my life or anything.
Anyway, I hope you can push through it and get something you find satisfying. I speak to so many people who hate their jobs, and I feel very fortunate with mine.