Hi Frances,
I am so sorry, that it is a never ending struggle and that the people who are supposed to be on your side and helping you are not! Medical professionals have a job to do and that job is to take care of their patients in a timely fashion and not cause undue suffering...(the Hypocratic oath????!)...Whether they are doctors or nurses or assistants it is still the same job, sometimes they forget it because they are too busy being messed up in the paperwork and every day stuff...you can gently remind them.
I am a people pleaser too and feel very uncomfortable asking, even when it is my due...so I have tricks...one is candy. I make candy baskets. (God bless the Dollar Store!!!!)
I spend $10 at the dollar store, make a cute basket with all sorts of candy and put a card in it thanking the for all of their help...
Keeps me in their minds in a 'good place' and helps me to get what I want when I need it.
When my dad was hospitalized 2 yrs ago and I was dealing with the horrors of family feuds along with the medical disaster I brought in baskets for the nursing staff.
Although they did not need encouragement to take excellent care of my dad they did go the extra mile with me calling when needed and giving me the medical reports that my brother was refusing me.
I spent hours making those baskets (hubby called it my therapy) and I belive that I am the only one who ever brought them anything...also bought doughnuts, muffins etc weekly. They felt the love and I felt better just doing it.
Take her in a basket, thank her for all of her time and effort helping you and ask for nothing when you do it.
Some people just need to feel appreciated before they can get around to helping you...
By the way, I no longer appoligize for being who and what I am...I may feel guilty or sad or miserable and depressed but I am not sorry for feeling that way.
I am a caregiver and give to others constantly...so when I need a little (or a lot of) giving then take it in spades...I even demand it now...this is my return on investment...getting back a bit of the love and attention that I gave.
Remind those around you that you are not asking for anything that you have not given them 1000xs over...it is just your turn.
Yes, you would prefer to be spending your money in an amusement park or a romantic diner or on a vaction but we do not always get what we want....so do what Frances needs to feel better and darn the rest....
Sharon