Lori & N/A,
Sorry you are dealing with all of this. Menopause can be nasty but I think you will feel better without your problem j-pouches.
The recovery time for me was much better than it was from the colonectomy/j-pouch construction surgery. The healing from the Barbie butt was a bit annoying because it took months of sitting on waffle construction cushions or on one butt cheek. The midline incision healed much faster.
My surgery was at the Mayo Clinic and they supplied me with a stoma nurse contact listing for where I live. I needed her right afterwards and now see her annually for a checkup and annual ostomy supply prescription.
I also contacted every manufacturer for samples. They were great about furnishing samples of appliances, rings, fillers, wipes etc. I still get samples of new things & appliances as you never know if there is something better out there. You need to wait until after surgery to contact them as you might have a specific problem and they want to know what size your Ileo is.
Good luck! I hope we hear back from you after surgery.