It's a hard road no doubt. You were so young to start out life this way. I thought to after J Pouch I would be cured; wrong. I said it before it's a day to day battle. Some days are good but the bad outweighs the good. I really do the most on good days and be thankful for them. I pray for healing, I bake and cook almost all my food. I can't eat out much due to pain and diarrhea. I'm glad I enjoy cooking it makes me feel good. I am accepting what I can and can't do. I k the timing of my bowel and how long after I eat. I schedule my day that way and I do get to go out and enjoy what I can. Can't dwell on it; take advantage of what u can do and when. I was dx: UC 98 and had td in 2013. Keep busy. You might laugh at this but I get alot done on toilet. I read, go over the mail, sometimes do my pedicure. lol Hey u have to make the most of it because I spend awful lot time there and I have everything at hand. What can ya do. I'm happy to be able to get up and get around and not be in hospital. Keep strong and let us know how it's going we are here and know and feel your pain.