Oh Sweetie,
You are so NOT alone! There are dozens of us out there who have been through this before...your analogy was so perfect...the cup running over...yes, that is about it...you take on more and more pain, responsibility for your body and your condtion, walk into hospital after hospital for surgery after surgery smiling and reassuring your family and friends that this time things will be all right and you survive the post op hell and pain like a trooper...then when things go head over tail you crash and burn. All of the optimism, all of the positivism and smiles and pure heroism turn inside out...and the world goes black.
I know that you in a terrible, dark place right now and your optimism is at an all time low but you have to believe that it will not be as bad as you think. It may be a peri-stomal hernia (a hernia around the stoma that presses into the valve and causes it to kink), it could be something else too and not just a 'broken' valve...
I remember the nightmare of it happening to me 6 weeks post op when I was back here and no one in France knowing what to do and Dr C was away (yup, it was August too!)...my whole valve prolapsed out of my body and played firehose with me...I flew home when he got back and found out that it was a hernia and if anybody here had bothered to look at me they would have diagnoised it and fixed it without a problem...instead it degenerated and by then it was full blown surgery.
Do not let this overflow drown you...take it easy, watch a lot of t.v., read, relax and wait patiently until he returns...there is nothing you can do about it for now...take long walks if you can to clear your head and surround yourself with understanding people that you love and who love you...
And please, Do Not forget to laugh a little...you need the laughter to help you to heal.
Sharon