Omigoodness... I have to get to a work meeting, so I haven't had time to read all the responses, but I just wanted to chime in as someone who is 8 weeks from takedown... Take heart! I know it can be SO SO hard and discouraging, but what she is going through right now is not necessarily her 'new normal'. At all!
if it helps, have her look at her stoma wound (mine was left open). That, for me, was a reminder of how much (incredible!) healing the body has yet to do. There is so much healing and adjusting going on inside there, and the stoma wound is just a small reminder of that. Things heal and get better, they really do! In the meantime, use the tools/meds that your doctor and the great folks on here suggest which make sense to you. Wishing you patience, strength and health!