Hi Nick,
Yes, there is hope and yes, you have options...if your remaining colon has to go, then go it must but that does not mean an outside ileo for the rest of your life, just a very short period of time (and a lot of J pouchers adapted so well to the outside bag that they either choose to put off having the reconnect or don't have it done at all)...We do not know how we are going to react until we get there.
Next, there are 2 or 3 possibilities in all...one is the Kock pouch (internal ileostomy) or the BCIR its updated and modernized version. They do not require outside appliances, only a catheter a few times a day to drain them. Pull out the cath and cover up the stoma (the size of a buttonhole) with a band-aid.
So do not panic...
And yes, depression is a normal reaction to everything that is happening to you and your body...anesthetic is a major contributor to mental fog and confusion and well as feelings of disconnect and loss of mental clarity.
You may have PTSD, a reaction to losing a major organ that has a huge role in keeping your mental state balanced....or you may just be plain depressed at everything that they are doing to your poor body...and you deserve your depression...you have paid a high enough price for it!
So do not feel guilty about that too...just allow your body and mind to heal...it will take some time...but you will get there.
Sharon