There are no words to express how much I feel for you and understand the absolute anguish, sense of loss, frustration and pure black hole that you are in. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't and you see no way out of the black hole that you are in.
Yes, you know well that I was there in the same hole, in the same city with the nearly same situation.
I will Not tell you that it gets better, I will not tell you to pray or to light candles or anything else...I will tell you that the hopelessness and depression are real and come from the fact that you do see no way out, no escape and no solution.
(funny how I made the same comments about finally being skinny when my pouch was twisted and I could no longer eat! Your sense of humor is your savior)
First off you need a plan of attack nutrition-wise that is not costly nor impossible to follow...liquid supplements from Costco, GNC or Walmart can help a lot (they won't cure you but make things bearable). You need your B's and Iron (only take in liquid form and take with Vit C for best results) to keep up your morale and calcium/mag/zinc/D to get your sleep cycle working.
Try only eating whole grain breads, cakes, pastries, pasta etc because they bulk up better and give you a better chance of getting the nutrients faster.
Your blender is your friend. If you can pre-blend any foods you gain one step in the digestive process and can absorb that much quicker before things shoot out of you.
Write to the vitamin companies and Laboratories and ask for free samples of everything. Make friends with the salesperson at GNC, they discount to nothing their 'almost expired' vitamins a month before expiry...which means that they are still good for over a year but much, much cheaper...I had one lady who would put them aside for me and give me a call...very sweet.
Meat juices, bone broth, any soups that are rich and thick with toasted whole grain breads will give you a boost.
Salt, right now, is your friend but you need potassium to balance things out. Bananas, pickles, tomatoes, potatoes are all your friend...They help keep your electrolytes balanced and keep the water in your body.
PM me if you want more and if worse case senario, call me...I will call back.
Hugs from way too far away