After 20 years off cu i end up after 3 shurgerys with a jpouch en it was tough , but when it wend really bad i always held in my mind that after that things will get better again . You must realise that your never alone , god loves you and talks to you in many ways , trough your loved-ones or trough all the good that surrounds you . Stay positive and injoy little things . You will see , things will get better!
btw did you try Sint Marks Solution ? It significantly helps to slow down your bm and absorb some nutrition.