You sound like a warrior- and a guy that won’t give up. I can’t imagine going through that. I would go to see a psychiatrist and see if some antidepressants could help. You are 100% justified if you are down - but maybe some drugs (that are covered) could help. Also, the drug that you can’t afford ($60), maybe the doctors can write a less expensive alternative. I would check back into the hospital until you are out of this crisis. It sounds dangerous.
Best of luck and I will be praying for you - Doug