I was told that the older you get, the option of having the j-pouch goes down (I believe due to continence issues?). I knew surgery was in the cards for me and I didn't want an ostomy. I tried 6-MP and Imuran and reacted poorly to both, I was also told that Remicade doesn't have that great of a success rate and usually only last a few years. So, instead of trying Remicade we decided that it was time to have surgery. I was 44 at the time of surgery. I am really happy I didn't wait. I have had great results and so happy I didn't have to have an ostomy long-term. I hated every minute of it. That being said, if j-pouch is not an option I have heard many people say they love their ostomy and don't regret it. I just wasn't one of those people.
I agree with Randi. Find a very good, experienced j-pouch surgeon and make an appointment. You are under no obligation, you will just get some of those questions answered and see if you are a candidate for the j-pouch. Good luck and good health!