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Confused! end ileo or barbie butt?

Hi All. I am new to the site and this is my first time posting.....I really need some guidance.

I am booked for the Barbie Butt Sx at the end of Oct. I was diagnosed with UC in 2007 and since then it has been an incredibly long, rough and complicated road (I will spare you all the details). When my surgical journey began in 2011 with my first stoma there was no question I would be reconnected - I even was for a while. However, in 2014, during a life saving emergency surgery while I was over 7 months pregnant I was reverted back to an ostomy and my j-pouch was “preserved”. Since that time I have continued to have numerous complications, recurring divergent pouchitis, almost constant anal leakage/discharge, constant rectal pressure, frequent intense rectal spasms, and very high and acidic output due to how high into my small intestine the stoma now sits (this is my 4th stoma). I recently realized/accepted that reconnection would never be possible (I also have 2 almost healed fistulas) SO I booked the Barbie Butt thinking it was my only other option - I figured that they should take it all of it seeing as I don’t need it BUT now I have questions and my surgeon is on holiday.

During my surgery they will also be moving my stoma and “redoing it” due to its less than ideal current placement, a recurring peri-stomal abscess and a small hernia. So I will have the same vertical abdominal wound as my previous surgeries, a new stoma, a closed up stoma wound (I’m familiar with all these wounds and what they entail), and the Barbie butt wounds.

I have been researching what to expect from the BB surgery and I can honestly say that I did not realize how intense this was going to be - I am absolutely terrified. I now have a 3 year old daughter and the idea of not being able to bend, lift or sit for 3 months is really scaring me. Even though my Mom (who is also a critical care nurse - thank god) is moving in for 2 months, at the moment I can’t even fathom how I will mentally manage all of this.

I guess my question has become ..... do I need to endure so much? Do I have to get everything removed - dormant j-pouch, rectum and anus? Does anyone out there have a similar story and know why I need to get everything taken out?  Wouldn’t taking the j-pouch solve the pain and leakage etc problems? I feel so naive and confused. Please help!

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