My friend I don't know what I can say to you. It's a different life for us it seems. I think you really need to enjoy the "good" days. It sounds like you are very active and I commend you with envy. Sleep is a nightmare, and key to energy levels. You obviously have immodium ? I use it religiously at night to try to fight off the night shift on the toilet. I just keep hearing that time is what it takes. But no idea how much. I don't even know if we ever get "good" again. It's a living hell sometimes. Stay as strong as you can and look for joy when you can get it.