Vanessa,
Give it time, the valve thing that you talk about is mostly gas in the pouch pushing up against the valve...it happens to me all of the time...makes me feel as it my valve wants to push itself out of my pouch...it is just difficult to evacuate the gas sometimes depending on where it is situated in the pouch...try massaging it a bit...heating pads help too...I am not usually a big fan of anti gas drugs but baking soda does help things and so does green tea...I tend to believe that you are suffering from anti-biotic bacterial overgrowth or yeast overgrowth which would explain a lot of what is going on...use cranberries if you can for the urinary part and it may just help the pouch too...
Some people suggest antidepresants for your miserable pouch...(pouches get depressed too!)...you may want to try that and see if it helps.
Just keep asking questions...it is a long and complicated journey but it is worth it in the longrun.
Sharon