Reply to "Being gay with a j-pouch"

Well guys, it's been a while lol.  I was able to get in touch with my surgeon via email to ask him about my concerns.  This was about 3 years ago, months after I made this thread.  He replied and told me that he doesn't advise sex with me as the anal receptive partner.  I emailed him a couple of times after to ask him if there was anything that could possibly be done surgically that would allow me to have receptive anal sex, if I should choose to in the future.  The answer was that he wasn't aware of anything of that nature.

Last November, I went for a colonoscopy (I forget what they call it for j pouch patients) with a different colo rectal surgeon.  I asked him for his opinion and he pretty much agreed with the surgeon who operated on me.  He said that it would be risky for me and depending on my partner's size, for him as well since there are staples in the area where the pouch is attached.  He said I could try it at my own risk, but I would have to be extremely cautious and go slow and use a LOT of lube and preferably with a partner who isn't too big lol.  He told me he usually is happy to tell patients that they can do it, but not in my case.

I also asked him about surgical options and he said there were none.

Still really upsetting, but I'm just trying to accept it for what it is.  It still bothers me a lot but I can guess things could be worse.  hopefully one day there will be something that can be done.  I spoke to someone online a while ago who mentioned that his surgeon said he could do something to make his anal opening larger or something, since it's typically smaller and tighter on us j pouch patients.  Not sure if that would help or is even worth it though.

Thanks for all of the replies guys, and if you have any other advice or tips on coping with this, I'm always willing to listen!

 

 

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