I created an account to speak to this issue. I'm on the other end, and am in a long-term relationship with a j-pouch recipient. Both of us being men, anal intercourse was discussed. We agreed it was simply too risky. Honestly, it isn't a big deal for me. I think you will find that if you are upfront and you really like each other, you can come up with all kinds of creative alternatives. Please don't be discouraged or embarrassed. Sure, it might be a physical limitation, but it is in no way a deal breaker.