Been so long but I'm done...

My mom passed away on May 30th from secondary cancer  that spread to her liver due to FAP. I keep saying she is not suffering anymore but I'm broken. How do I go on from here. I feel drained, like a robot pushing through. I drove home from work today, my first thought was call mom but then I remembered I can't anymore. I feel a sense of anxiety, a punch the wall kind of sadness. Does it get any better? Will it hurt less? 

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