I first was diverted to an end ileo but my pouch still problematic. I had similar j-pouch problems as you are experiencing. I wish I had listened to my surgeon and had it all done in one surgery as I went back 6 months later and had my pouch and anal stump removed.
I am glad I did it as the quality of my life is much better now. In had the removal surgery 15 months ago.
If you have not I suggest you get a second opinion. I highly recomment the Mayo Clinic. Let me know if you want any information about them. My surgeon there said the surgery is more complicated than the original j-pouch surgeries. That is why you need a surgeon that has a lot of experience removing them. I recovered faster than from the j-pouch creation/colon removal surgeries. I think the recovery was better as I knew what to expect and didn't have butt burn to contend with. Getting use to an ileostomy takes time too. I had to use cushions for a months until my barbie butt was healed but that wasn't a big deal.