I had tried to get pregnant for years - through my mid 30s with my ex husband. It was a terrible marriage and I was stressed all the time. It made my UC disease worse and ended up with stage 1 colon cancer. I had my colon removed and jpouch etc - you know the drill. I did really well and I was very lucky. I got out of that marriage and moved to a new city where I met my now husband. Now I am SO glad I didn't have a child with my first husband!
I tried IVF at 42 years old and I got pregnant and now my son is 3. It was a longshot for sure but we knew we had to try. I am so glad we did. Keep trying because even up until your late, late 40s you can get pregnant through fertility treatments. You just need one to take! If not, you know you tried everything. And my best friend said, if you want to be a mother, there are so many ways to get there- look at all avenues and roads. You'll get there whether its IVF, adoption, surrogate, fostering etc. Everyone I know that wanted to be a parent is now a parent- one way or another. At the end of the day, you love them no matter how they come into your life.
TIPS FOR IVF:
Meditation (there are great guided fertility / conception meditations on youtube). I meditated before, during and after my implantation. I imagined the embryo going in there and attaching and being so warm and happy and flourishing. Visualize it - imagine every detail.
Acupuncture -it's proven that acupuncture helps IVF -they've done numerous studies/ articles you can read about. I did it through the whole process.
Be good to yourself - try not to stress and rest, listen to music, take nice walks.
Ghee - eat lots of it. My friend is an ayurvedic practioner (sister science to yoga) and she told me to smother it on everything - toast, veggies - everything. It nourishes the womb.
Take folic acid everyday and start prenatal vitamins now.
And yes, it's scary to have a "geriatric pregnancy" but so is pregnancy in general. You can't control everything so you have to go with it.
Big hugs, I know how hard it is.