Sally,
Come to Paris for a huge hug....spreak ashes off of the Eiffel tower or fly a baloon off of it or send ribbons flying...you need to feel light again, free and find peace...drugs help when there is a crisis, and yes, I know of no worse emotional crisis than yours, but you need to discover where the joy is hiding in your life...when I left home at 23, I hid about 30 little notes all over the house, in purses, pockets, closets and drawers for my parents to find...I knew that my mom would be depressed by my leaving...there was no internet and long distance was a nightmare here in France (up to 3 days to get a line!)...she slipped into a horrible depression that I don't think she ever really came out of (or forgave me for)...prosac didn't exisit back then either...you need a project, something to keep you busy and make your mind occupied...Especially if you don't have any friends over there ( I know the feeling well!)...
For the others who find getting out of bed a challenge and who are not still sick (or who don't get up every 3 hours for bathroom runs)...don't give yourself a choice. I don't 'allow' myself to sleep in...I forced myself up when hubby left for work 7:45am or earlier if there was something interesting to do (the open air farmer's market here is on Tues/Fri mornings...I never missed one)...it was only 2 days a week but enough to force me out of bed with enthusiasm those mornings. Didn't matter that I couldn't eat most of the things there but there were people to chat with, things to see and no one to judge me. I went with filthy hair or in jogging pants, often leaked and had to run to the nearest café but it was a walk, a morning out, some fresh air...I walk there so it is great for me...the other mornings I made scheduels like laundry on Mon, baking on Thrus, grogeries on Weds...I would crash and burn in front of the TV later but at least I had accomplished something in the morning...it was my saviour...my way of not letting the disease win...I am probably more stubborn than depressed most times and so it is that stubborness that wins out over the depression (not counting the afternoons spent with Hagen Daz or tons of chocolate etc)...I will get lambbasted for this but the best remedy for depression is exercise...long walks (if you can)are a good start and so is swimming if you can find a place close to home (sorry but when I was incontinent I couldn't swim for obvious reasons so I missed it terribly)...Whatever you do, start slow and work your way up...even a walk around the block is better than not at all...
Hang in there guys...we are all just doing our best
Sharon