Calligirl, I'm sorry you're having such a rough time.
Raj, a few months? I wish it had been only a few months for me. But you're right, this is not an overnight fix.
Calli, I was commonly on the toilet 15 times or more a day for about 9 months. 4 or 5 months in, I was seriously thinking about going back to an end ostomy.
At best, this is going to take time. My take down was in April. God gave me a late Christmas present the following December. Practically overnight, my BMs cut by half. No change in diet. No change in meds. It was like my J pouch had that Ah Ha! This is how I'm supposed to do this! moment. Things just started working as they should.
At work, I ran into my surgeon a year or so later. I told him about it, and he told me that sometimes it just takes time for the J pouch to "Wake up". His words, not mine.
Diet plays a very important role for me. I was up two or three times last night because of what I ate for dinner. Keep a food diary and see what works for you. There is a price to be paid if I eat meatloaf and au gratin potatoes. I just keep refining my diet. Maybe meatloaf and mashed potatoes will work?
Strange is on target too about cleanliness. I learned that lesson long before the J pouch. I used to sit in an ambulance for 11 hours of my 12 hour shift. I had to keep wipes with me everyday.
There are digestive enzymes at work all through the intestinal track. They are still present and active in stool coming out of a healthy colon. That's why babies get diaper rash. The enzymes in their poop is literally digesting the skin on their little bottom.
I used a little battery powered bidet for about a year. It really helped keep down the irritation both from wiping and by getting rid of all the residue...
Praying you find your way to get this dialed in soon.