So sorry to hear of your troubles. If I hadn't just had my takedown, I would FaceTime you (or Skype)and show you my routine. Do you have an end ileostomy, or a loop? I suggest you post to the ostomy and skin forum. It's a great group of people, some who opted for permanent ostomies, but others who are awaiting takedown. I also agree with liz. Contact Convatec, Hollister, etc. They will help you order what you need, and also give free samples. Both have catalog's online as well, just to give you an idea (and possibly find one that you had been given that you feel was working well for you).
It is truly unfortunate that you do not have a good ET (ostomy/wound) nurse at your disposal. It makes me feel so fortunate to have had the great care that I received. Nobody should have to leave the hospital and not know how to care for their ostomy, but it sounds as if you have a good support system at home.
Best of luck,