Hello Evilone,
Stick with forums like this, and similar ones. These kinds of forums have helped me many times. UC/Crohn's usually doesn't read on the body the way other afflictions do, so you look "fine" to most people, even when you are not. We find so many adaptations, that when we say we need assistance or even just patience, it doesn't LOOK like we're in trouble, so we get read as slackers, or needy, etc.
So, forums like this really saved me, several times. We do know what you're going through, at least on some level. I've gotten detailed, specific advice that really helped a lot. If you can lean on us for things like this, it may be possible to grow to accept what your family *can* do.
For people who have never handled a chronic condition first-hand, it's difficult to process. Not making excuses for them, but trying to help. Small doses for them, perhaps. Summarize in 3 sentences what you're handling NOW. Then just leave it. Yo u probably won't get an immediate response, but it could accrue over time, to everyone's benefit.
It seems to me you are handling a multiply difficult situation very well. You already appreciate your family, and that is never wasted. It's often a minute-to-minute process of hanging in there. It sounds like you are making good decisions. Come to these chat sites as often as you like. In some bad times, I posted every day. Always got encouraging replies. People are here for you.