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Fistula

So have dealt with a fistula since 2012. 

Was in an “ok” place with my seton. Did have a painful granuloma, but it was manageable. 

My CRS has a one day with a FILAC laser that spares sphincters and closes fistulas with laser. Good results in Europe/Germany and in the west coast. 

Long story short: it failed. And now my fistula tract is larger and stool comes out the tract with BMs. NEVER had that issue. It was purely a mucus fistula. This is awful. AWFUL. It comes out because of the J pouch: if I had formed stools, might not be so bad  

It also flares something so that I have issues with urgency and tenesmus. I’m 2 weeks post surgery, and still in pain. GI put me in oral steroids and Canasa in case it’s inflammation. 

My new seton of today is nothing like my old one. Old CRS ties them loosely. Have new CRS. This is much smaller, looped in itself, secured with sutures that are poking me (or will; I’m still numb there from placement). I have a 2x2 wrapped around it. Looks more like a piercing than a seton. The one suture is poised to hit right where the granuloma was excised off, too. 

I had a feeling I shouldn’t have tried this procedure, somewhere at the bottom of my stomach, but it came with such good results, I had to take a chance. You can keep trying with it, but right now I’m so sore, and depressed, and despondent, and angry at myself. 

I can live with a seton. I can’t live with this acidic J pouch stool coming out around it 6-8x a day. I want to die. 

Anyone have any ideas, suggestions, support to offer?  I’m just gutted. 

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