OMG, "violated" is a good word to use. I had all my surgeries at Mt Sinai in NYC. I had a mother of a migraine after surgery number one. It made my abdominal pain feel like a pulled muscle. No one would listen to me or give me pain meds for it. I couldn't move, which is what I need to do when I have a migraine. It's the only thing I can think of to imagine what you went through, of feeling dismissed and worse, of being made to feel like a problem patient. Mt Sinai has improved a lot --after the next three surgeries, they asked about my pain level and management so much that it almost got annoying. It should be the number one priority. What happened to you borders on emotional abuse. No wonder it's hard for you to move past it. You've been traumatized. Give yourself as much time as you need.